Category Archives: I luv my bfried

Keep in touch

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Today and tomorrow I’m away from my babies due to work event. I wasn’t forced into it, it was agreed between my boss and I, but I was actually the one who suggested working on this event even before I went on maternity leave.

In the UK we are entitled to 10 KIT (keep in touch) days, paid of course, during the maternity leave period. I was planning to use all ten, but not sure I will now.

Next week I will work in the office and I don’t know how I feel about it. The thing is: Beatrice is solely breastfed. And I don’t express milk to give her, it’s straight from the source. I have been expressing milk in the last weeks, every day a little bit and I only managed to express enough for these two days. The plan was to express lots, to give daddy some practice time (you know, bottle feed a breastfed baby isn’t the easiest of the tasks), so how Beatrice will accept the bottle will be a surprise for all of us. They will be fine, but I don’t think I will.

Beatrice has been sleeping worse than before for the last couple of days, having milk 5 times between 11 pm and 6 am, and crying a lot if I try to give her the dummy instead of the breast. Yesterday she woke up at 6am, but today she was still sleeping when I left. So no goodbyes.

Laura wet her bed this morning, called daddy at 6 am. It’s the first time it happens since we came back from holidays on the 8th of September. I could blame the juice she had before bedtime, but she had had juice and milk and water several times just before bedtime and didn’t wet the bed. I could blame the cold weather, but it has been cold in our house for a week or so. I didn’t think about blaming the fact that I’m going to work today because she didn’t seem to care when we told her yesterday. On the contrary, she was very excited that daddy was going to take her to school. So wetting her bed is something else, maybe bad dream.

I thought I was going to be thrilled to be on my own for a couple of days, but the fact is that I am holding back the tears. I am a possessive mother. I complain that motherhood can be suffocating, but I can’t be far away from my kids, especially from Bea, who is just too young. She will survive and probably enjoy her time with daddy. I will survive, but not unharmed.

Human mind is something powerful. I think I was so scared about leaving them and going to work that everything seemed to go “wrong”. The hair is all oily and disgusting – and I didn’t have time to wash it this morning. The clothes I chose to wear this morning didn’t fit and the shoes I was meant to wear don’t match the current outfit. The top I’m wearing is itching me. I couldn’t prepare the milk bottles for Bea as I planned because I ran out of time. Laura spilled her juice all over her 5 minutes before I left, the trains were delayed…

Luckily, the girls have the best father they could have asked for, and while I was a pile of nerves this morning, he was chilled out about it all. I think he might even enjoy these two days at home. 🙂

Date night

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Since Saturday is grandparents’ last day with us, hubby and I decided to go on a date.

It’s been ages since we had gone out just the two of us, for a film, dinner and chat.

We saw The Dark Knight Rises (it’s a good Batman film) first and then went for dinner. Normally is the other way around with us, but I didn’t want to watch Lawless (too violent and “based on a true story”), and the Batman film is too long for a 9pm session.

After the film we went to a place call Brown’s. I had a 21 day mature ribeye steak and Mr. C had one of their gourmet burgers.

It wasn’t too cold (18C) so we stayed outside, with a view to the canal and the high modern buildings of the West India Quay area. We used to go to the cinema there, back in the days… It was good to be back.

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Tuesday

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Sunday was hubby’s birthday. He didn’t want to celebrate, so I just prepared a late lunch for a few friends and baked a quick cake.

We had a great time. I missed some friends around, but I think big gatherigs will be for when summer is here.

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Every day my motherly love increases – who thought this could be possible? Little one was poorly last night so we brought her to our bed. She woke up several times screaming, as because of a nightmare or sharp pain. Other than that, it was delicious sleeping with her next to us.

She woke up this morning, when I was getting ready to work, and called me. I went to her side and she patted the mattress, asking me to lay down next to her. I did, I couldn’t resist, and she hugged my head, as if it was her soft toy dog. And she fell asleep. I so wished I had more time in the morning.

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One of the (1,849,739,738,139,947) things I love about Laura is that she doesn’t say “yes”, she simply opens one of her biggest smiles as if offered a million pounds to spend on toys. One of the times she woke up crying in the middle of the night, i asked if she wanted milk. Nothing. Au au? Nothing. Water? Biggest smile and a lot of excited hand clapping. For water!

This morning was the same when I asked if she wanted milk. It just makes it even more pleasant to please her.

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Her big smile is something that everybody at the nursery comments on. They love it; they love when she chats and laughs, throwing her head backwards, as if telling the funniest joke; they love her loud laughter.

What is there not to love about it?

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My boss resigned and is leaving end of April. As Lili says, there’s something about me that my bosses tend to leave… I’m actually quite sad this time, because she is not only lovely and fun, but also very inspiring. The type of person that is always coming up with different and creative ideas. Most of the time, they require lots of work and some money, but nonetheless they are different ideas and make you think about what other options are there. When you are too long in a certain area, it’s so easy to stick to the same old ideas and way to work…

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It’s only Tuesday.

Life is beautiful

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When things start going wrong, you have to take a step back and remember all good moments of life. They are far more precious than any bad thing that might happen to us.

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Saturday our boiler froze. In the evening, when it gets even colder. But until we figured out what it was and how to fix it (past 23h), we were frustrated and sad and scared with the idea of sleeping in a cold house with temperatures sub zero outside.

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We had to cancel our trip. I’m British, yay, but the passport takes up to 6 weeks to arrive, boo.

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A guy showed me the finger yesterday because I didn’t let him through in front of me. And I didn’t have to, it was my preference. Yes, I got angry and annoyed and wished him bad. 😦

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Now, the bright side of life:

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When she was younger, Laura was never so keen in cuddly toys. She has a few, but never got attached to any. But now she is getting into them, maybe under influence of kids at school. I’m almost sure it is. She gets Ua-ua, gives him a cuddle, says “awwwnnnn” and sucks her finger (a weird variation in the photo above, but usually it’s her thumb). I think it’s cute, but I hope she is not moving backwards in her development.

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My mum is worried that we might be freezing her. Honestly, it gets cold sometimes, but it’s not too bad.

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Happy Valentine’s day!

6 weeks til Xmas

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Not that I’m counting… I’m not, I promise. Someone at work mentioned it. I’ve been so busy with work that I barely have time to think about other things.

I do have time to eat though, always. Yum yum. I went to a restaurant near work with Lelei today and had macaroni cheese. Love comfort food when is cold and dark. Yum yum.

I also managed to negotiate with hubby to cover me on Friday evening so I could go to an event. It should be fun and it will be the first time I’ll have a night out without being work related since Laura’s was born. I don’t complain, not at all, especially because hubby is not coming along. But I’m quite happy with the opportunity. I hope it’s really as good as I was told because it’s going to be such a long day for me.

Now, what I’m really looking forward to is our trip to Romania in December. My mother in law is just the best mother in law I could have hoped for. She looks after us so well and I really rest when I’m there (and eat well too). If I could, I would get my mum and my mother in law to move to London. Life would be so much easier! (for us, not sure for them, although they would love to see Laura growing up).

Life is beautiful in the UK too

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I’m very happy for one tiny reason:

22nd April – Good Friday (Laura turns 11 months)

25th April – Easter holiday (because it’s on a Sunday)

29th April – Royal wedding (and a national holiday, God bless the Queen and her grandchildren)

2nd May – bank holiday

Hubby is taking 3 days off (26, 27 and 28) and Laura and I having him for 10 days! We might try to go on day trips in the UK, if the weather is nice. Life if beautiful.