It was an intense week. I decided to go to every single meeting and event at Laura’s school and spent two days there, between World Book Day and the character’s parade, to PTA coffee morning, meeting with teacher, math talk, etc. Between now and the Easter break, there are at least another 4-5 events.
All good, I’m not complaining. I’m surprised though. Surprise on how much is expected from parents, grandparents, carers, to be part of the children’s school lives. It is not a bad thing, because it is not the school’s responsibility to raise the children. We are the parents, we are responsible for them, we need to be present, we need to know, we need to participate, but how the heck are we supposed to do that working long hours? I feel incredibly lucky to be able to take a break and go to all the school events, do homework at a decent time of the day when Laura is not exhausted or wanting to play, meet parents and teachers, but I do feel for parents that would love to be there and instead are stuck in a 9-to-5 job.
There should be a balance in life. I love working and I don’t see myself as a full time housewife for the longer term, but if I go back to the corporate world, I will want to work 4 days a week. It’s a 20% cut in salary, but it will be a much higher rate improve in life. And I don’t think this is something that only mothers should think about or fight for… A present and participative father can do wonders to a child’s life. At Laura’s school, the vast majority are mothers (it is still the norm, I guess), some grandparents (oh, the lucky ones that have them around) and some few fathers. On the day that we went to read with the kids, in Laura’s class, there were only women. Some took the morning off before heading back to work. Last year, hubby went, as his work was way more flexible than the actual one.
Interestingly, the main lesson I took from this was not that us, parents, should find a way to attend these events at school, but how important it is to have a solid and safe network in our community. I’ve seen mothers reading to 3, 4 kids because other parents couldn’t be there and it was alright. The kids were fine, they were happy to have an adult there – they were happy to have the parent of one of their friends there. They didn’t feel left out. So, yes, parents should try to be there, but the parents that can be there should carry on going the extra mile and supporting those who are not as “lucky”*. It takes a village to raise a child, right?
P.S.: I don’t know the situation of all parents; sometimes they are not lucky to be able to go to school. Sometimes they are unemployed and desperate to find a job and luck is not the right word.