Monthly Archives: December 2015

Goodbye, 2015!

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Goodness, another year gone. I’m glad 2015 is coming to an end, but it is scary to see how time is flying.

I love lists and I love going through all the things that happened in the year, the good, the bad and the ugly. Most of all, I love planning the year ahead.

2015 was the year of sad news, dear people being diagnosed with terminal diseases, friends dying much sooner than they should. On a positive note, babies were born and, with them, hope in humankind is renewed.

We had a bad experience with holidays. After over a year since we had a decent break, our trip to Italy was a nightmare. Starting with an expired passport and the cancelation of the first week in Tuscany. We managed to spend a week in Jesolo, which was a bit “meh”. I love Italy, so not bad, but it wasn’t great either. On a positive note, although we weren’t entitled to any refund for the cancelation, the lady at the hotel in Tuscany took pity on us and managed to give us part of the money back. So Tuscany is back in the list of places to visit! And because they were super nice, I’ll leave the name of the hotel here, for future reference and in case you are interested: Villa Mazzanta.

Someone broke into our house, just as we returned from holidays. The signs are still around the house, reminding us that we are not safe anywhere, not even in our own houses. On a positive note, nothing was taken other than some cash.

I started and stopped Pilates. I had great results, but it was a nightmare to leave the house and as soon as I got back from the class, all the pain would be back. I am in a lot of pain but have been postponing going to a GP. I have finally booked an appointment… for tonight!

I didn’t read much this year. Got stuck in a John Grisham book for almost the whole of 2015 (The Brethren), but finally finished before the end of the year. On the other hand, I read The Circle, by Dave Eggers, in a couple of nights.

I didn’t even tried to lose weight properly in 2015. I did track what I was eating on My Fitness Pal, but that was it. I didn’t try to exercise either. It’s just way too hard to try to find time, to negotiate who will stay with the kids, to have to beg to have some “me time”. Things at home weren’t great this year and I confess: instead of fighting, I gave up.

And because life is like a football match, I managed to score a few goals at the very last minute of the year. My resignation, as you all know by now, is the main one. I cut coffee for for about 6 weeks now (although in the past week I had a few decafs) and sugar (for 3-4 weeks, I’m back to it until the new year).  But the little things I am the happiest about are all related to the house. I’ll write a separate post about them another time.

I think this is a good summary of 2015: the year I gave up. So I’m glad it is going away and a brand new shiny year is coming to the rescue.

Goodbye, 2015. Welcome, 2016! Have a great start of year, everyone. See you on the other side.

The season to be jolly

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We didn’t have a white Christmas this year – it has been quite mild, really, with temperatures above 10C – but ice rinks across the country take care of bringing a bit of the magic of Christmas (if you are used to it in the North Hemisphere) to us all. 

We have never been to Winter Wonderland, in central London, and we never took the girls to one of the many ice rinks across London. The trip and the crowds just don’t attract me. So it was great to find a place not too far from us, with an outdoor, but covered, ice rink. It is in Ruxley Manor Garden Centre, in Sidcup, Kent. The garden centre was a nice discovery; it’s not only a for all things for the garden but it also has a nice food market with some yummy looking fruits and veggies and other food. There are two restaurants, shops, etc. Durimg school holidays, there are activities for kids (a Circus during February half term). 

Not something for tourists though.

   
   

Jobless

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I am not yet unemployed (three months notice period, still a couple of months to go), but I feel unemployed. I think this is the first time I’m dreading the notice period and can’t stand another minute of it. I’m usually very professional and try to keep the same standard of work as if I wasn’t going to leave, but this time is different.

Maybe because I’m going nowhere (yet), because I don’t know what I want to do, what I will do… it feels like this notice period is taking up precious time of holidays and me-time. It doesn’t help that it is also winter and energy levels are so low.

Why the heck did I resign? Well, four years in the same place, doing the same job, without perspective of growth or changing just bores me. I rather do the same thing for four years in four different jobs than stay in the same place for that long. Yet I stayed and now it’s time to go.

Why the heck didn’t I find a new job first? Because I need a break. I need to figure out what I will do, what I want to do, what I can do. I might recycle my knowledge, I might try to learn something new, I might just spend some time with the girls and in the house. I feel like a teenager facing a life changing decision: get a job or go to uni? What career to choose?

The main mistake we do when we “choose” our path is to think that we have to keep going on the same path forever. I consider myself lucky enough to be given the opportunity to stop, think and resume. I might not change anything, but at least I had a choice. I do feel slightly uncomfortable to have a professional conflict at this stage in life, especially when I have a feeling deep inside that there is nothing out there – professionally, I mean – that inspires me or that I have a gift for. I have lots of hobbies, but as soon as I think about a hobby as a way of life, it puts me off.

So until February, I will carry on with the office work, while trying to find some inspiration elsewhere. Then, it’s just time to research a bit and see where I can fit in this world. As I said, I might change nothing and end up in the same place (well, same sort of job but different company at least), but at least I had some reflection time.

While Beatrice fights not to sleep…

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… I decided to check how things are going with this blog. Practically dead and I feel sorry for it.

Many months without posting and mainly because I wasn’t inspired at all. 2015 was a “meh” year for me. The folks in Lala-land will probably argue that I should be grateful for my health and for my family and for everyone being healthy and under a roof and… the list of “good things to be grateful for” goes on. Don’t get me wrong, I am.

But comparing to other years, 2015 was “meh”. Probably mainly my fault.

Now… 2015 ends with a twist. Because a “meh” year cannot end up “meh”, otherwise what’s the point? So, 2015 was the year I resigned my 4-years-old-job. Without another job to go to. I have no idea what I’m going to do, but I’m not worried (yet). I can go to another similar job, I can go to a “worse” job that will pay less but also will take less of my soul, I can become a stay at home mother. The sky is the limit.

At the moment, I am enjoying a two week break, trying to sort out the thoughts and ideas in my head, spend some time with the kids and organise the house. Trying to find myself, as I have been lost for a while now. And, with the proximity of the new year and the prospect of starting again (I know it’s an illusion, but I like it), I feel more hopeful and… well, just hopeful. Let the countdown begin!