Life at week 18 (+4 days)


So, we were all ill lately. Recovering slowly but surely. Things you get with winter, I suppose.

I’m on a personal countdown to: 1) Friday, last day at work until 2nd January; 2) 3rd January, our 2nd scan and another chance to look at the little one again; 3) start feeling the baby’s moves; 4) April, as I will be closer than ever to stop working and getting to meet the new member of our family.

Christmas and New Year are a tough period for me – I’m over sensitive, missing things and people from the past, thinking about the future and completely lost in the present. And it feels that because I am in such mood, weird things just keep happening.

There we were, quietly waiting for Christmas, the season to be jolly, when we heard about the tragedy in Connecticut. And yes, you suffer for all of the people involved, but you also think that it could have been you or someone you know. And you think what is wrong with the world? And are we doing enough to stop this from happening again and again and again? And you can’t help but wonder if your children will ever be safe anywhere in the world, if you will ever be able to sleep at night when your children are out.

I also spoke to my dad today and he has been diagnosed with a tumour in his bladder. The doctors suspect it is malignant and he will operate in January. I like to think that I know way more people that won battles against cancer than lost it and he will be one of those. Also, my dad is a bit of a Highlander – he survived to all sort of things since he was born in Amazon. From serious diseases when he was a baby, to his bad choices in life – like smoking 3 packs of cigarrettes every day since he was 14 years old until several years after having a heart attack. He had very delicate surgeries to replace veins in his body, all blocked because of smoke and bad habits. He used to drink more than he should. Coming from a generation that wasn’t too careful about food, he, of course, ate too much red meat, fat, chilli, and other heavy and probably not very healthy food. And he just celebrated his 70th birthday. So for all he had been through, not too bad, uh? Of course, there’s a lot more to be lived and there is a second grandchild coming, so he better hang in there.

And so this post doesn’t become a very depressing pre-Christmas moan, of course our little one brings us joy every day.

– Mummy, help me climb on the table!

– Are you alright, mummy? (when she sees mummy throwing up like crazy)

– No, I’m busy! (her answer when I ask her to interact with the character on the TV show she is watching)

– TURN THE LIGHT OFF! (when we turn the lights on in the morning)

Today was her first day at the nursery since Thursday and she threw a massive tantrum on the way back home. Not just screams, but also trying to bite me and really going wild. Of course people give you the funny look (the “control your child, woman” look). When I left the train, a woman – apparently she is always on the train – came to me to ask if Laura was alright, because she has never seen her like that and “she is such an adorable child and never acted like that!!”. Geez, you know my child!! I thanked her and agreed, she is an adorable child, and yes, she has been quite ill, today is her first day, bla-di-bla. Isn’t it nice when your train mates actually take notice of you? And come with comforting words? Some people might be spooked about it, but Instagram’s privacy policy spooks me, not random nice strangers that are probably my neighbours… Am I weird?


One response »

  1. Not only see the great number of people who survived it but also that is a begnin one. Good luck for the surgery and hope he recovers fast!
    I would expect her to make a tantrum on the way home and not the way FROM home, she is like my sister was then, didnt want to leave school, hehe
    And not at all you are weird, I am much more weirded out by photos on the net too! At least people on train can always get spotted by the CCTV, hehe

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