Four months and feeling slightly better. I’m not throwing up as much as before (but I’m still feeling quite sick), and I have a little bit more energy compared to the first months.
I can feel the “lump” on my belly, where the baby is, but I don’t feel the baby moving as I felt with Laura (the butterfly feeling) yet. What I feel is slightly less gentle and I don’t think it’s the baby’s movements.
This pregnancy is way less celebrated than Laura’s. No bump photos (I’m too fat to even want the photos), no talking to the baby, no dreaming about the little one in here. I heard its heartbeat once and it was a healthy and happy sound, that put my mind at ease.
I hate the idea of the eldest child having all the “great” bits: new furniture, clothes, toys, a quiet and love pregnancy, etc etc. Being the youngest, I did have the rejection complex that tend to come with being the second. I’m not saying that it happens (although I read an article about it and despite most parents denying it, it is true that they “secretly” prefer one or another child).
I have to say that this time, I’m way more scared than I was in the first one. Scared of messing up badly, not being as good with two as I am with one, not being fair, or being overly protective, or just going crazy and driving the whole family crazy.
I’m sure, though, that I will have enough love for two, as I’ve always preached that it’s more than possible (and needed) to share your love with others. With your own children shouldn’t be different.
Little Laura after bath tonight. She hates drying her hair with a hair dryer (like her mum), so I had to improvise. Daddy, as a good torturer, made me dry her hair properly though.