What if’s are evil. They stop you from enjoying the present by haunting you with questions that cannot be answered. What would have happened if you didn’t/did…? Does it matter now? Unless you can do something about and change the course of your life, the what if’s of the past should be burried and forgotten.
What if’s can also disturb your future, especially when you think too much about something you want to do. What will happen if I…? What if I do this and happens that? What if’s can cause suffering by anticipation that sometimes can prevent a negative outcome, but can also prevent something really positive. Or can just leave you wondering with more what if’s, but now in the past… what if you had done what you spent too much time thinking and missed the opportunity?
I try not to regret the things I’ve done in life – they are done, good or bad, it took me energy/courage/will power to do it, so it’s already kind of positive. But I do regret some things I haven’t done, missed opportunities. Sometimes I regret a little bit too much and waste a lot of precious time feeling sorry for myself, instead of just enjoying the present and planning the future.
This evening I was haunted by so many future what if’s that I could barely sleep. Why do we have to complicate life so much? Why do we have choices and why is it so hard to choose? Why is it a pain to say “yes” or “no”? Why is there guilt and paranoia?
Too many questions and I wonder if I even want to know to the answers.